Unsaid Dialogue
by randomnessonhigh
Summary: He woke up the next morning. She's gone.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

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He lay on his bed, bandages covered almost every inch of him. His chest went up and down slowly, his heart beating to the beat of a slow march. Not life threatening – but worrying. She sat on the floor, her back against the drawers of his desk. She only had her sights on him, watching him still breathing calmed her guilt-ridden conscience. She placed her knees close to her chest, her hands embracing them. She bowed her head, deep in thought: What is she to do next? Can this continue on without him dying? As much as she'd like the latter to happen, chances are, sooner or later, he will receive his final blow – his death blow, and die. That is something she wishes would never happen.

The moonlight coming from his window, where his bed was next to, shown over his face. She could see the scars, the bruises and all others in excruciating detail. She looked away and buried her face in her arms, clutching the sleeves of her dress. Though she has seen this so many times, it always pierces her to see him this way.

There is only one thing she can do. No matter how hard it is, she must – if not for her own needs, then for his need to stay alive.

She stood from her spot and approached him. His eyes were shut and his mouth slightly open; his breathing still slow. She placed her hands on his face and traced each scar and scratch that she can see. Each time he fights, each battle he engages in, the scars and wounds get deeper. Each time she fights, there he was, always ready to save her. Now, looking back on everything, what has she done for him?

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Tears tried to force their way out of her eyes, but she forced them back. She bit her lower lip and held his hand. She could feel the cuts on his fingers, it made her shake. She tried controlling herself, if she didn't he would wake up.

"I have to go now. I just can't do this to you anymore. I've always used you, though never intentionally. You were always there ready to save me, even at the cost of your own life and all I could do was stand down and watch as you take each cut and slash that was meant for me. I don't want that to happen anymore. I have to be stronger. I've been fooling myself all these times that I have grown stronger, but in truth, I haven't – I haven't at all. You have always been testing yourself, making yourself stronger, that each time I see you, I could hardly recognize you as the boy I met a couple of months back. You've grown strong – too strong, that I can never compare to you. That's why when you wake up, I'll be gone. I'm sorry to do this again, but please, don't go after me. This is all I can do for you. It will hurt you as much as it will hurt me, but I know it's for the best. Thank you, so much. You made me feel like I was able to live a life that I never thought I could. Now will be the last time I will talk to you. I won't see you or go near you, until I feel myself worthy enough to face you again – when I become stronger. I'll take this chance, hoping I will get stronger, and one day, we can return to how things were. I'm sorry."

She squeezed his hand softly as not to wake him up. She slid her hand from his, but he grabbed hers. She turned to him to see if he was awake. To her surprise, he wasn't. She smiled to herself, he squeezed back. She just looked at him. A tear was able to force its way out of her eyes. She slid her hand from his and placed on her chest, her free hand covering it.

She made her way to his desk and wrote a letter, hoping that this time, he will understand. She folded the piece of paper, and placed it under one of his books. She went to the door and silently went out.

The next morning the sun rose, and sunlight seeped into his closed eyelids. He bolted awake after a strange feeling had donned on him. He hurried out of his room and went down to the kitchen. As usual his sisters were at the table and his father was somewhere, hiding to surprise him.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"Nii-san, she left last night," his sister replied as she served breakfast.

"She…" he was a loss for words. He pounded on the table. Then, out of nowhere a kick came crashing onto his face sending him to the floor.

"That's what you get for being weak," his father said, a mischievous smile on his face.

He lied on the floor. _She's gone._


	2. Chapter 1

**

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**

KUROSAKI ICHIGO

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It's been weeks since I last saw you. I recall that a lay in your arms, bleeding until I lost consciousness. I could hardly remember your face then, but I felt your hot tears as they fell on my face. I went into a deep sleep. I had no dream, but a feeling lingered within me. I couldn't understand what it was, but now I think I do. My heart was telling me you were leaving. I tried awakening myself but my senses were dead from the world. But I could've sworn I heard soft whispers, and I felt someone hold my hand. Was it you?

You left without saying goodbye to me face to face – again. Why?

Is there something that I've done? Is there something you've done? Tell me.

I wanted to follow you, but I couldn't find any traces of you. Nobody knew where you went. You've disappeared again.

Will you ever come back? I sit here agitated waiting for you to give me an explanation.

I feel the reiatsu of a hollow. I know you'll be there – I was wrong. All I saw were your robes billowing behind you. I tried to call your name, but my throat closed and I couldn't even choke it out. Then you left, without a word.

Hours turned to days and days to weeks, where are you? I haven't seen your face in a while. I think I've forgotten how you look like – no I haven't. I can't. Why would I? That face that lived in my closet for so long and soon lived normally in my house – then left.

The wind comes and blows on my face, just like you, except I can't feel your touch. You pass through the crowds and buildings invisible, like a ghost. Were you even here? You breeze in and out that I can't even feel your presence. All I feel is ice – cold and severing.

This feeling left with me, pierces me more than any other sword that has ever cut me. This coldness freezes me over, numbing my senses. I think that the rain was better than this frozen wasteland, don't you? This is not you. You are snow: gentle and cool.

You wrote me another letter. The reasons you wrote are vague. They don't make sense. They go different directions. Is there something you're afraid to tell me? Or is it you can't? If you can't tell me what your true reasons are face to face, how could I consider you a precious friend? Is that how you want me to respond to this?

If only you would tell me, maybe you'd be here right now, with all of our friends – with me. You would be happy. But who knows you might be happier wherever you are than here.

You're drifting farther. If this is your goal, well two can play that game. But I won't. I'll reach for you and search for you even to the farthest lands or the deepest waters. I refuse to let you go. I won't let you distance yourself anymore. You have changed me more than you'll ever imagine, and I haven't finished thanking you yet – not that I could ever thank you enough. It's because of you that I can protect everyone. You gave me that power. Protecting you is the very least I can do.

I'm hurting as much as you are. Losing a precious friend like you is losing a part of me. I know that deep within yourself, you're hurting because not even you yourself like what you're doing. But why do you want to suffer? Do you need to atone for anything? I don't think you do.

I don't understand this now, but maybe someday I will. Till then, I'll be calling for you – reaching for you. So please, answer me – reach back for me.

No matter what happens, our bond will never be broken – whether you like it or not, Rukia.

**

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**

KUCHIKI RUKIA

* * *

I haven't seen your face in a while. Though I can't complain; I would stay in front, my back turned to you, or behind your back facing me.

I try to make myself invisible like the wind. Coming and going as I please, not making any contact – if possible.

You look like you haven't changed at all. With the glimpses I catch each time we turn opposite directions, you look the same, with that expression of feeling some unseen annoyance. You still are the same obnoxious boy I met; with the way you handle each obstacle in front of you, so overconfident. You still are the same boy – no, I am wrong. You are not the same boy I've met – you're now a man.

If I leave you wondering why, I'm sorry. This is how I see it fit to pay for all the suffering I've caused you. It may seem cold, but I control ice. This cold isolation is nothing but second nature to me. I want to isolate myself, not you. In isolation, I can become stronger, because there is no one else I could focus on besides myself. If I have to be a ghost just to be strong enough to protect you, I will – if it is the only way. And it is the only way. This is my way of atoning for everything. If I could've been stronger, then you wouldn't have become a Death God and suffered. If only I were a little stronger, I could've protected those who I care about – I could've protected you the most.

You've grown a lot even without me by your side, but you never needed me to begin with. You were strong all along. I was just there to push you, nothing more. I have to push you once more, but this time, I have to push you away.

As much as I would want to reconnect with you, I can't – I won't. It's for our sakes that I do this. If you haven't noticed, I've caused you more suffering than anyone could ever have. I've caused you more scars than any sword could ever cause. I've caused you more damage both heart and soul than any other being. Your blood to the point of death for the likes of me, you don't deserve this kind of punishment for awakening your own power. This is not what you deserve for rescuing me. Looking back, I wish you would've let me die; at least no more troubles will go your way.

It is selfish of me to decide this, but this is what I choose. I cannot bear to see your body turn to shreds because of my mistakes. I want you to keep breathing, dreaming – living! I want you to live and enjoy life – live it to the fullest. And when your time comes you can say that you have had a happy life. Rather than being sliced every few weeks because of something I can't handle. That is why, I choose to leave.

By now, I'm sure you've read my letter. It has no sense, yes. I don't want you to know what I'm doing. I want to do this on my own. I don't want to burden you or others anymore. My silly shortcomings have caused everyone pain that seem irreversible. That is why; it is time I suffer the same pain I caused.

I have to pull up my share of fights. I have to protect you. I want to be strong enough to stand next to you and go through the same troubles as you do. I don't want to watch your back. I don't want to watch you cling to life. I want to be there to shield you from any more pain. It's my turn to protect you.

I won't see you longer than I expected. Each day that passes that I am not there, I slowly turn empty. I suffer in silence being away from all of you. This is nothing compared to everything I've caused, yet why do I feel like I cannot go on? I cannot help it, I am weak. Though you disagree, and I have always told you that I am strong enough to hold my own in battle. I was only fooling myself, and you into thinking I am strong. I admit I cannot save myself with pure skill alone. I always needed luck. If I am not strong enough to save myself, I will never be able to save you or anyone else.

I promise you, I will be stronger. It's my turn to do the protecting. It's my turn to suffer. Once I'm done, we can return to how things used to be. We can laugh, spend time with our friends and finally I will be there to carry your burdens.

I won't let a day pass that I do not improve. I know you understand this. If I may ask you a favor, will you do it? Will you wait for me, Ichigo?

_

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_

Running away from the streets we knew

-Sidewalks  
Story of the year

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	3. Chapter 2

The streets were dimly lit and still as the night sky stretched above. No moving creatures, only the leaves that danced with the soft breeze mocked the stillness of the night. It was cold and the night seemed to draw on – an endless state of darkness, silence and stillness that would only amount to isolation and insanity. Well, this is nothing new to him for all his nights were the same -- unending and isolated.

Just like any other night, he spent it lying on his bed and looking at the ceiling. He had done nothing but to think of answers as to why this happened. Occasionally, to keep himself from falling asleep without a reasonable answer, he would glance at where she first entered his room and hoped that maybe she might just enter again. "You're losing it," he sneered to himself. False hope was his only form of comfort only to be followed by a bitter realization that what he hopes for may never happen.

He turned to his side and dug his face into his pillow. The pressure on his head awoke his almost sleeping brain and he continued thinking. Slowly his eyes began to close.

A shadow stood high up a street post, surveying the area, making sure that there would be no disturbances that night. Her hair blew as the breeze passed her. The evening breeze brought with it the scent of newly bloomed cherry blossoms as it blew throughout the whole area, announcing that spring has finally arrived. Indeed, it was spring in every sense: the blooming flowers, the sun shining bright and life coming back into the world after the dead cold winter. For her, the seasons do not exist anymore. There was no spring, summer, fall or winter. She was simply in an abyss, forever wandering through its depths.

She cannot blame anyone for this state. Her decisions have led her to where she is.

She took a step forward, her foot suspended in midair. If she moved, she would fall and land face down on the ground. She smirked at that fact. Moving from the top of the street post to the ground unharmed was child's play for her. She took a step forward and it looked as if she was about to fall, but she disappeared. Like she thought, it was child's play as she landed safely on the ground.

She started going through the streets, her robe billowing behind her. She wandered for a while, taking each turn that came her way. She was supposed to be patrolling the streets, but she decided to just walk around just this once. She did not recognize the houses she passed at first, but as she went on, each house stirred something in her memory. As even more houses passed, she started recognizing the streets she used to walk on.

She turned a corner automatically. She knew where it would lead, yet her body went on despite her mind protesting. Her heart was restless.

Her feet stopped in front of the house she once stayed in. Without any hesitation she went to his window, trying to conceal her presence as much as she can.

Just when his eyes were about to close completely, he felt an odd vibe. He quickly went under the covers and peered through the thin sheets. It wasn't crystal clear vision, but you could still decipher one thing form another.

She entered through his window and walked over to his bed. She watched over him, just as she did the night she left. What was different about it was the fact that he was under his covers. But, she would rather have it that way than to see all the fresh wounds he acquired in battle.

He could see her. After months of aimless searching there she was again.

She sensed movements beneath the covers, but she deduced them to be involuntary. But as the movements became more and more obvious, he was moving as though he wanted a clear view of her; she stood back a few feet and navigated her way to the window.

He was awake.

She jumped out of the window and ran -- ran to no specific place. He grabbed the sleeping plush toy at his feet and placed its mouth against his lips. He did not bother with its loud protest and decided to worry about how traumatic his action was later. He jumped out of the window and hurried after her. She was already two streetlights away from him.

She ran fast, but despite that he still gained on her. She went through unfamiliar alleyways and turned every other corner thinking she could lose him. But that was simply naïve; he lives here, this is his territory. There was no way he could get lost.

He ran after her, reading each and every one of her moves. He knew each corner and pathway that she ran into. There was no way she could lose him this way. She has lost.

She turned another corner, only to find herself at the mercy of a dead end. Wishing that he was still far was the only thing she could do. She could not run for there was no place to run to.

He finally caught her.

Cornered, she stood in front of him head bowed. She refused to meet his eyes for it would cause her mind to wander through memories past. She did not tremble for there was no reason to. She kept her gaze fixed on her feet and ignored the closeness between them.

He stood in front of her, staring at her bowed head. His hands reached for her arms. He pulled her closer to him. Hands still gripping her arms, he tightened his hold. The gentle squeeze on her arms relaxed her, for it seemed to return her to the situation at hand. Yes, without looking at his eyes, her mind wandered still. He shook her, asking over and over "Where have you been?" Her mouth did not part, not once. Her lips stitched, suppressing words that wished to come out. Not getting an answer, he bit his lower lip; it was quivering – something out of his nature. None of the strongest men could ever make him tremble. However, this woman in front of him had done him no physical harm nor has she made contact with him in any way – and that was exactly what made him tremble. It was the sense of distance between them that held him tightly at the throat that he could hardly speak to her anymore. His hands squeezed her arms out of nervousness.

His hands travelled up to her face, caressing it gently. He tilted her face to meet his. He wanted to see those large eyes of hers to give him some answers. Thick strands of hair covered her eyes, blocking them from his gaze. For that, she was thankful.

He knew he wouldn't be able to look at her eyes despite his efforts. He brought himself closer to her, resting his forehead on hers. She was still unresponsive. Her cold manner froze him in a state of frustration. What can she get out of doing this? For countless nights that thought buzzed in his head leaving him tossing and turning searching for answers. But despite his efforts, the exhaustion puts him to sleep.

She stood still and continued to gaze at her feet. His hands have left her face and were now at his sides. He walked a few feet back and raised his hands in defeat. "You win," he said glumly, "you win. I hope you're happy" he tried to look at the expression on her face despite the strands of hair. He could not see any change. He took a deep breath and dropped his hands. He turned on his heel, his back now facing her, "I'll see you around". With that, he started walking and disappeared into the darkness.

She stood there as the wind blew the strands of hair out of her face. There were no more tears to fall for him for her heart has finally closed.

Now their game of cat and mouse is over. The mouse has finally driven the cat away for good.

She has won.

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A/N:

First of all, I am very sorry for this very late update. I've been gone for almost a year because I concentrated on other things, but still here it is, a new chapter :D.

About the previous Chapter 2, I didn't think it would fit the current flow of the story so I fixed it a bit.

Anyway, thank you for sticking with this story.

~randomnessonhigh


	4. Chapter 3

**KUCHIKI RUKIA**

It's cold tonight. My hands are shaking and chills are racing up and down my spine. I hope you're doing fine.

I'm still out of breath. You managed to catch up with me, and to corner me at that. I'm glad. I'm glad that your skills have not dulled, instead they have improved since I last saw you. Without me, you have grown considerably.

Coming here tonight was a mistake. _I _did not wish to do so – my heart did otherwise.

As though in some sort of trance, my body simply moved through places. Jumping from buildings, darting through alleys, and flying through the night sky, all of which I did simply just to reach you. It's silly, don't you think?

When I reached that post just outside your window, I took over again. I knew where I was. I stood for a moment. I contemplated deeply and for quite some time. I decided to leave, but my feet were rooted on their spot.

My body felt like lead. It took extra effort to simply move my head away from where I knew you were. I could not look away for my heart refused to do so. Once again, I was in a trance, and before I knew it, I moved again.

When I entered your room, I felt at home. Your room was the only place I could ever call home. Only here did I ever feel any warmth and security. Your family treated me as their own and I am eternally grateful for that. You have always welcomed me, even through your feigned annoyance.

The smell of your cologne filled my lungs. The things that lay about in your room have not moved since I've seen them last. The warmth of some invisible light lingered about the place, relaxing my muscles and calming my heart. I looked around to simply take in this brief moment of nostalgia, just enough to make a memory. Yet, something felt odd. Something was amiss.

Your closet door was ajar. I took a peek and saw that my bed was still there along with some clothes. My heart twisted. I bit my lip in frustration.

Why?

Why had you not rid yourself of those vile things?

What were you thinking keeping that door ajar?

When was the last time you cleaned out that forsaken closet? (Did you even think about cleaning it out?)

Who were you waiting for?

I could not believe it. After all this time, the mere fact that I disappeared should have struck that thick skull of yours that I was not coming back. Have you not figured it out by now? I had no intention of coming back. It was all for your sake! You fool! You never learn until something horrible happens. Still you hoped. That idiotic notion of even considering that I'd come back burned fiercely at the back of your mind. I could not believe it!

My thoughts were racing. My heart was beating wildly in its cage. I still cannot comprehend.

How did you know that I would come back?

How? After all the distance I tried to put between us, all the times I shoved you away, and all the days that have passed and still no sign of me, you still hung on to that thought that I would return? Fool!

Thinking back on all that, just makes the air colder. The streets are all dimly lit but a gradient of orange to blue is filling the sky. It's almost morning and I'm still here. I should really get going but my feet refuse to move any faster.

With all that has happened, it's funny to even think about all this, right? It's laughable that I'm trying to communicate with you, even though now there would be no chance for your reply.

Fool. I'm the fool who turned her back on herself to face you.

Ties have been severed. Bridges have burned. You have nothing more to say, right, Ichigo?


End file.
